Research Associate?

I took a position as a research associate on September 1st. It's Mon-Fri, 8:30 to 3:00 - the hours my kids are in school. It is good to be out of the house, but is it good to be back in science? Is it good to work so much and have so little time to keep the house in order? or to think? I'm doing it, but I'm not thrilled.

I keep wondering if I should write a book. What would I write? I think I'd write a semi-autobiographical book about a girl who grows up in a small town, succeeds at school and wants to be free and see the world. She goes on a few adventures, spends five years in Africa, rejects many of her mother's values and tries to find out who she really is and what she really believes. She eventually finds out that the girl she was at age twelve is who she really is. Does that mean she follows the goals her mother laid out for her? Are they her goals? What does she really want? What does God want?

Does it sound boring? The only thing that worries me is being home so much. Writing is very solitary. I have tapes that I recorded when I was in Africa. It was a pivotal time for me and for this girl. I think I'd need a hand-held tape recorder, so I could go for walks and record my thoughts.

Hmmm.......

Maybe I should try it.

Summer school

I haven't posted in such a long time, because the kids are home from school and we have been very busy!  With the help of a tutor (My daughter's teacher from last year), the children are doing school work Monday through Friday. My daughter is also going to summer school Tuesday through Thursday.  Our days go something like this: wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, do school work for one hour (Mon and Fri), she goes to school, my son and I do work around the house together.  Tuesday through Thursday they do two hours of work and then play, while I do housework or we go to various appointments.

Tuesday evening, we went to my sister's to celebrate her daughter's birthday. It was very nice, although we got home a bit late and my son had a meltdown.  There have been too many late nights.

Vacation Bible School is next week, so we are also getting ready for that.  I am in charge of the singing sessions and have to learn 10 songs. I am also helping get a few crafts ready and making phone calls to recruit people to help.  

So, I'm home keeping very busy with the children and household duties.  Yesterday a few friends came over, so the children could play and the moms could talk.  It was very nice.  

Week after next, we go camping.   Hopefully, it won't rain the whole week!!!

Too good to be true?

This will be quick. The kids are out of school so private time is at a premium!

I responded to the offer for a research associate position by saying that I was not comfortable working past the time when my children normally get home from school, at least, not every day.   I outlined the hours I am comfortable working, i.e. 8:30 to 3:00 (considering I will have an hour commute, that would get me home just in time).  I calculated that it would add up to 6.5 hours per day. If you multiply by 5 days per week, you get 6.5 x 5 = 32.5. The normal week is 40, so 32.5/40 = just over 75% (which is 30 hrs per week).  

He came back with ........OK. You can work 75% and have 75% salary!  Oh ....MY!....

Take? Leave? Laugh? Quake with Fear?

It seems to be now or never.  

I said, OK. Send me a contract. p.s. Do I get vacation time?

Research Associate?

I'm driving up to the University north of here today to have a tour and talk about a research associate position.  It will be interesting.  I don't feel nervous, which is unusual.  Is it because I'm not really interested?  I think it's because I don't know much about the University.  How good is it? What are the interactions like? I'll know soon. Better leave, because it's 40 miles away!

Just got back home. It took 40-45 min to get there. Easy. No traffic.  I was offered the position, but would have to be in the lab 8 hrs per day.  He didn't accept the idea of me working partly at home.  There's a lot of reading, internet searches and planning experiments when you do research.  Many research assistants only show up at the lab when they set up or complete an experiment.  That's what I was hoping for, but no dice.  He did say that once I got organized and established myself, I could do more at home.  In the meantime, I would have to find after-school care for the kids. If I work 8:30 to 4:30, I'll be home by 5:30.   The kids are home at 4:00.

I think I could work with this guy. He's calm, smart, organized, detail-oriented.  I'm excitable, creative, analytical.  But, not being home when the kids get out of school.......I have to think about this.

Still confused.

I haven't really made any progress in the job search area.  I've been thinking a lot about what I want, what I'm good at and what the possibilities are.  I've also been praying and asking for guidance.  That last bit requires patience.  You know how it is with God (or perhaps you don't). God has a much better grasp of the big picture than most of us, certainly better than I.  Often, hindsight reveals that there was a lovely path to a lovely destination, but I kept getting distracted by moderately satisfactory possiblities.  People have told me over and over that I'm too picky.  They said that about my inability to find a proper husband, until Brian showed up. Of course, I didn't even meet him until I was 35 years old.  It seemed like I WAS being too picky or something.  

I feel quite stuck about the job.  I really want to do the right thing.  The question is this: Does God have a particular job in mind?  Does he just want me to do my best wherever I am? Am I incredibly selfish and picky?  I know that I am incredibly fortunate, blessed, lucky.  I don't have to work, at least not to earn money, but I enjoy working and went to school for a long time.  I hate to lose those skills. But, most of the jobs I find are not here.  Some are within 40 miles, but are very demanding.  

So, I have decided to take a leave of absence from the Lupus Foundation for the summer and maybe forever.  Don't know what the future holds. Wait and see.

Lots to do.

One week ago, I was sitting in a room with many other women, learning about being a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I was on the Walk to Emmaus.  http://www.upperroom.org/emmaus/  It was a wonderful 72 hour experience.  I felt great joy and, by the end, more peaceful.  In fact, although my employment situation is sometimes difficult, I am trying harder to work with it and do a better job.  

I have a lot to do, on many levels!  I have a very long "to do" list for the next several weeks (getting ready for VBS, the Emmaus gathering, my son's birthday, baseball, our disorderly house).  Work is challenging, frustrating and stressful, because we try to do a lot of programs with very little time and little appreciation.  I see unchurched or under-churched people all around me and wonder how I can help the Lord to reach them.  Wow.  So much to do.

The wonderful thing is that I don't feel weighed down by it all.  This is very unusual for me!  I usually find the world such a depressing, disappointing place.  I just want to give up.  Somehow, I feel changed.  I feel more willing to forge ahead.  Maybe I can become a vessel after all.  Who'd a thunk it!

Well, I hear the laundry and "Toys R Us" calling.  Better get to it.

Still fishing

Easter Sunday was about a week ago. We had a wonderful day with family, despite my dear husband being confined to bed.  Our daughter had some intestinal issues at 4:30 am Saturday (i.e. threw up all over the floor - hard wood, not carpet....Thank God for small blessings).  Although I cleaned up the mess to try to shield him, he spent the next 26 hours working on labor and delivery.  Lack of sleep makes one susceptible to viruses!  He was a bit better the next day, but doing another 26 hrs.  Poor guy.

But, as I was saying, Easter was joyful.  I was home with the children Easter Monday, because they didn't have school.  Which brings me back to the job opportunity discussion.  What do cleaning up vomit and Easter holidays have in common?  They are both reasons that I need a job that is flexible.  When the kids don't go to school due to a holiday, teacher in-service, sickness or snow day, I immediately think........Yes, this is why I work 20 hrs per week.  How on earth can I commit to consistently working more?

In my last post, I described two positions I was considering.  The adjunct teaching position for a "Medical Instructor" turned out to be very far from my ideal job. They were looking for someone to teach "medication dosing" (algebra) and "psychology" (how to appropriately communicate with patients).  They generally hire people with a bachelors degree and have gotten rid of those with only associates degrees.  Well, I already have a job for which I'm grossly over-qualified (I have a doctorate, remember).

The other position is a postdoctoral research associate position. Since I have already done two postdocs, I'm actually over-qualified for that one too, but at least it's a closer fit. The head of the lab said my recommendations were very strong (hurray). I was very excited.  However, he asked, appropriately, where I saw myself going afterwards.  Where would it lead?  This is, unfortunately, a very good point.  There is a glut of PhDs like me.  Postdocs don't always lead to faculty positions, because there are not enough openings.  There are some alternate career paths, but not many.  What to do?

Choosing wisely

Since my last post, I have gotten a request for references for a postdoctoral position and an interview for an adjunct teaching position.  Now the difficult job of discernment begins.  How do I figure out whether to accept one of them or wait for the offer I really want?  The things I am thinking about are:  flexibility of the schedule, location of the positions, attitudes and personalities of the supervisor and co-workers, how closely they fit my image of the perfect job.

In theory, both have fairly flexible schedules.  The postdoctoral position can be flexible if the lab head (PI or principal investigator) is not opposed to me reading and planning experiments at home.   There is also the issue of the PI's own schedule. I once worked for someone who was a night person.  I would arrive at 8:00 am and wanted to leave to get my children around 4 pm.  He tended to be in the lab from 11 am to 3 pm and then work late at night.  So, we only overlapped by 4 hours.  It gave him the impression that I was never there.  The adjunct position appears flexible, because teaching is between 8:30 am and 3 pm.  Of course, I don't know what happens when my children's school is closed due to snow.  I'll have to ask.

The positions are located in opposite directions from my house.  I currently do everything south of where I live.  The postdoctoral position is north of here, in uncharted territory.  Since they are approximately equidistant, it might seem unimportant.  However, I had already located a summer camp for the children south of here.  My favorite grocery store is south, just off the highway.  I don't know what lies north.  This complicates things.

Attitude is everything.  At my current position, I do many things that I was not trained to do and never get to teach the basic science subjects that I so enjoy.  What has kept me there is that we have a great team and help people every day.  I have great respect for my supervisor.  She is creative and understands our need for flexibility.  We are all moms.

The perfect job. . . . . .   Mine would be one that included teaching and research.  Basically, a faculty position with no pressure to get funded (ha ha) and an expectation that I work 40 hours per week instead of 60 or 70.  Seems reasonable to me!  So, the job to the south lacks research and is a training school (low secondary education).  The job up north lacks teaching, but I might be able to swing it eventually.  The job up north is potentially better.  

Back soon.

It's beautiful out. Why am I in?

It's a beautiful day and I'm sitting here at the computer.  Why?  Quite simply, because my need to get back into science keeps nudging me.  I am determined to find a solution.  We moved to this very rural area at my urging.  It's about an hour from my hometown.  My husband and I agreed that we didn't want to move somewhere just for a job.  After all, a job's just a job.  There's more to life.  I haven't changed my mind about there being more to life, I  just miss the science.  

And the clock is ticking.  It has been three years and I can't remember a lot of things.  I've been learning new things about patient needs, coping with chronic illness, raising children and lots more.  But I think that if I stay away from the science for much longer, I'll have forgotten too much.  So, I've started attending research talks in the city where I work.  It's waking my brain up, but it's also a lot like holding a piece of chocolate cake in front of a dog.  They're not supposed to eat chocolate and I don't have any job offers.  We're both salivating.

I was thinking about developing a project......basically writing up a grant application or at least an outline/research plan, even though I don't have a postdoc or faculty position.  Einstein wrote a lot of his papers when he was a patent examiner or something, right?  

Well, let's see if blogging helps.  The sun is calling.  Gotta go.