Compromises

The sun is low in the sky and throws long shadows across the hardened snow. As I sit here, looking out my kitchen window, I'm reminded of my childhood. The trees are young and thin. Their shadows snake across the white-blue snow, reaching toward me, reminding me that another day is gone and I still don't know whether to point my compass north or south, east or west. Which direction is my direction?

I've done things that I swore I would never do, things, the mere suggestion of which, would have sent me into spasms of laughter, shaking my head and shouting, "Me? No Never. Not me." These things are the results of compromises. If you are a proud woman, a woman of substance and high ideals, or a man who appreciates such women, you should stop reading. You should, but you won't.

Mip and the Wing Spell

Once upon a time, there was a fairy named Mip. His hair was brown and curly and he wore a blue tunic and brown leggings. His eyes twinkled, probably because he was very curious and liked to try new things.

One day he was flying through the forest when he heard Dr. Penzo explaining to his nurse the proper way to do the wing spell. You see, Dr. Penzo is a pediatrician. He takes care of baby fairies after they're born. One of the things he does is to give them their wings. Baby fairies are not born with wings, because they're too little to fly. They get their wings when they are about two years old.

" 'Winging' is a very special procedure", explained Dr. Penzo that day, as Mip slowed down to listen. "First, you take two leaves and two berries from a butterfly bush. You crush them between your fingers until they make a lot of purple juice. Then, you rub the juice on the back of the baby, right where the wings should grow. While you're rubbing, you sing the flying song."

"Wow!" thought Mip, as he flew away. "I have to try this."

So, he flew to a very dark, quite part of the forest and he looked around. He found a small brown caterpillar. Then, he found a butterfly bush. He crushed two leaves and two berries between his fingers until they made lots of juice. Then, he quickly rubbed his fingers on the caterpillar's back and sang the flying song.

Before he finished the song, he could see wings growing out of the caterpillar's back. But......

"Oh, NO!" shouted Mip. Something was definitely wrong. The caterpillar's wings didn't grow right. They were supposed to have a large pointed wing piece on the top and a smaller, rounder piece on the bottom. They were supposed to be symmetrical - the same on the left and right - but they weren't. The left side was missing the lower part.

"Try to fly, caterpillar.", said Mip. The little caterpillar fluttered his wings and started to fly a bit, but the right side of his wing was so much bigger and stronger that he was wobbling and going in a circle.

"Well, that didn't go very well." thought Mip. I guess I didn't get my fingers down onto his skin the way I needed to. It's probably because his fur is so thick. I'll just have to try again.

New Year, New Start

The kids are back in school and the many jobs of the Christmas season are almost done (still haven't mailed out Christmas/New Years' cards...), so it's time to blog!

I have a lot more free time now, for a number of reasons. First, it is post-Christmas, and second, I quit my job! Things did not work out at the research lab. I was very uncomfortable with the lab supervisor's style. Since this is a public post, let's just leave it at that.

So, I have started the year off right! I got rid of a part of my life that I didn't like or need. My husband and I are doing that standard New Year's activity called "starting to exercise again" and reading the Bible more. Exercising felt great this morning and reading the Bible was satisfying last night. I will also be doing some jobs around the house that have been on our mental list for quite some time.

I know, however, that in a week, maybe less, I'll wish I had a job. I'll feel like I'm not doing enough, not really using my talents and not getting many pats on the back. I have to try to be patient. I'm going to try to resist the urge to jump into whatever I can find, especially if it's not really what I want to do.

I was also thinking that I should write up a research project proposal to show to one of the other lab supervisors I met in the Fall. Maybe we could work on a project together. I've been looking into going on a mission trip. And then there's the idea of writing a book. I'm not sure I have the perseverance. Writing well takes a lot of time.

I'll let you know how it goes. Will I be patient? Will I do those household jobs that need doing? Will I write up a research project? Will anyone care? Will I write something? ....a book, a short story, my Christmas cards??? Hmmmmmmmm......

Lots to do. Better go read "The Half Blood Prince" and get that out of the way! (ha ha)

Peace to you in the coming year.

Research Associate?

I took a position as a research associate on September 1st. It's Mon-Fri, 8:30 to 3:00 - the hours my kids are in school. It is good to be out of the house, but is it good to be back in science? Is it good to work so much and have so little time to keep the house in order? or to think? I'm doing it, but I'm not thrilled.

I keep wondering if I should write a book. What would I write? I think I'd write a semi-autobiographical book about a girl who grows up in a small town, succeeds at school and wants to be free and see the world. She goes on a few adventures, spends five years in Africa, rejects many of her mother's values and tries to find out who she really is and what she really believes. She eventually finds out that the girl she was at age twelve is who she really is. Does that mean she follows the goals her mother laid out for her? Are they her goals? What does she really want? What does God want?

Does it sound boring? The only thing that worries me is being home so much. Writing is very solitary. I have tapes that I recorded when I was in Africa. It was a pivotal time for me and for this girl. I think I'd need a hand-held tape recorder, so I could go for walks and record my thoughts.

Hmmm.......

Maybe I should try it.

Summer school

I haven't posted in such a long time, because the kids are home from school and we have been very busy!  With the help of a tutor (My daughter's teacher from last year), the children are doing school work Monday through Friday. My daughter is also going to summer school Tuesday through Thursday.  Our days go something like this: wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, do school work for one hour (Mon and Fri), she goes to school, my son and I do work around the house together.  Tuesday through Thursday they do two hours of work and then play, while I do housework or we go to various appointments.

Tuesday evening, we went to my sister's to celebrate her daughter's birthday. It was very nice, although we got home a bit late and my son had a meltdown.  There have been too many late nights.

Vacation Bible School is next week, so we are also getting ready for that.  I am in charge of the singing sessions and have to learn 10 songs. I am also helping get a few crafts ready and making phone calls to recruit people to help.  

So, I'm home keeping very busy with the children and household duties.  Yesterday a few friends came over, so the children could play and the moms could talk.  It was very nice.  

Week after next, we go camping.   Hopefully, it won't rain the whole week!!!

Too good to be true?

This will be quick. The kids are out of school so private time is at a premium!

I responded to the offer for a research associate position by saying that I was not comfortable working past the time when my children normally get home from school, at least, not every day.   I outlined the hours I am comfortable working, i.e. 8:30 to 3:00 (considering I will have an hour commute, that would get me home just in time).  I calculated that it would add up to 6.5 hours per day. If you multiply by 5 days per week, you get 6.5 x 5 = 32.5. The normal week is 40, so 32.5/40 = just over 75% (which is 30 hrs per week).  

He came back with ........OK. You can work 75% and have 75% salary!  Oh ....MY!....

Take? Leave? Laugh? Quake with Fear?

It seems to be now or never.  

I said, OK. Send me a contract. p.s. Do I get vacation time?

Research Associate?

I'm driving up to the University north of here today to have a tour and talk about a research associate position.  It will be interesting.  I don't feel nervous, which is unusual.  Is it because I'm not really interested?  I think it's because I don't know much about the University.  How good is it? What are the interactions like? I'll know soon. Better leave, because it's 40 miles away!

Just got back home. It took 40-45 min to get there. Easy. No traffic.  I was offered the position, but would have to be in the lab 8 hrs per day.  He didn't accept the idea of me working partly at home.  There's a lot of reading, internet searches and planning experiments when you do research.  Many research assistants only show up at the lab when they set up or complete an experiment.  That's what I was hoping for, but no dice.  He did say that once I got organized and established myself, I could do more at home.  In the meantime, I would have to find after-school care for the kids. If I work 8:30 to 4:30, I'll be home by 5:30.   The kids are home at 4:00.

I think I could work with this guy. He's calm, smart, organized, detail-oriented.  I'm excitable, creative, analytical.  But, not being home when the kids get out of school.......I have to think about this.