The Sacraments

 Baptism and the Lord's Supper

There are many things in life that pull us away from the divine. The sacraments are ritual acts or sign-acts that pull us toward the divine.  The holy is present in the sacramental acts. Sacraments move us from experiencing prevenient grace toward justifying grace. They move us from that inward sense that there is something more, some great goodness out there and in here, toward the sense that the great goodness accepts us and is approaching us, even abiding in us.

There are two sign-acts in which Jesus participated: Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. These two are recognized as sacraments in The United Methodist Church.  As either sign-act is performed, the power of the Holy Spirit is called upon by the person performing the act and by the community of believers present and participating in the act. This holy power passes, by faith, to the person or persons receiving the sacrament.

The components of both Baptism and the Lord’s Supper are simple, everyday objects: people, water, bread and grape juice: gifts from God recognized millennia ago by the Hebrew people, as described in the Bible. People are drawn together, to community. Water has always been drunk and used for cleaning. Water is life-giving but can also be a force of destruction. Water represents life. There are many places in the Bible where God provides water in the wilderness or calms stormy seas. [Numbers 20:8-11; Exodus 15:22-25, 17:6; Judges 15:19; Mark 4:38-39; Matt 8:24-26]

Grain, wine and fruit, bread and grape juice, likewise, have always been eaten and drunk and were part of the typical Hebrew diet and of ritual sacrifice as grain, drink and fruit offerings. [Genesis 4:3; Exodus 29:40; Leviticus 2:1-16, 5:13, 6:14-23, 19:24, 23:13; Numbers 15:5] Washing, drinking and eating become means of grace, doorways to the divine, when they are enacted in a way that opens the spirits of the participants, people in community, to the presence of the Holy Spirit. The rituals and the meaning behind them enable the understanding and perception of the ordinary to become imbued with the extraordinary. Faith is an important component, because without faith, the heart of the recipient is closed, and the meaning denied.

John the Baptist called people to repentance for the forgiveness of sins. (Mark 1:4, Luke 3:3) In Baptism, the covenant made between God and Abraham, through Abraham’s pledge to uphold and teach the law, is transformed. Ritualistic cleansing has roots in ancient Hebrew culture. In Baptism, the ancient legalistic cleansing with water that made the unclean clean becomes a sign-act of repentance, turning away from sin, and spiritual cleansing. The Holy Spirit, sent as our advocate by the risen Christ, is received by the laying-on-of-hands during baptism. Baptism is witnessed by the community, the Body of Christ, promises are exchanged, and the Lord’s Supper follows as a sign of joining to the community of faith. Ritualistic cleansing was performed to remove the unholy so that one could approach the holy. Baptism is understood on a theological level to wash away the guilt of sin. On a practical level, it marks us as Christ’s and is a sign-act to publicly proclaim our journey of faith surrounded by and guided by the congregation.  It is beautiful and profound.

As I read By Water and the Spirit, I find a lot of tension between these statements: “Working in the lives of people before, during, and after their baptisms, the Spirit is the effective agent of salvation.” and “Water is administered in the name of the triune God by an authorized person and the Holy Spirit is invoked…” (By Water and the Spirit, 7) If the Holy Spirit is at work in our lives all the time and baptism serves as a symbolic public recognition of the baptized person as one with the Body of Christ, why must the baptizer be authorized? If the Spirit is always with us, why must the Spirit be invoked? Is it because, although God is at work, we cannot see it? Is religion basically a way for people who have difficulty seeing the Spirit at work in the world to be continually reminded that God is near? Was the ritual of baptism developed to focus our attention and remind us of things that are happening, but often invisible to us, because we are so distracted by the world? 

I believe that the baptizer should be authorized, and the Spirit explicitly invoked, because that helps us accept the gift and avoid some of the doubt that so easily causes us to deny the gift. I am speaking of the gift of grace and adoption. The Holy Spirit is always working in our lives, but we are so easily distracted by the world that attention must be paid to counteracting those forces that would pull us away from our awareness of God and the Holy Spirit. The authority of the baptizer strengthens faith in the act of baptism and opens the hearts of the participants to the presence and work of the Spirit. One should not, however, shift too much power from the Spirit to the baptizer. This might call into question the baptism of someone who was baptized by an elder whose authority was later revoked. Revoking the authority of the baptizer does not revoke the baptism. The baptism is performed by the authorized person but received from the Holy Spirit and cannot be undone. In the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God fulfilled the prophecy of a new covenant and called forth the Church as a servant community (Jeremiah 31:31-34, 1 Corinthians 11:23-26). The baptism of infants and adults, both male and female, is the sign of this covenant. (By Water and the Spirit, 7).

When Jesus met with his disciples in the upper room to celebrate Passover, he added a new component to the Passover meal: “Take; this is my body….This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many…” (Mark 14: 22, 24) During the Lord’s Supper, the significance of the bread and wine in the meal is shifted from remembrance of the Passover covenant and body and blood of the lamb in Exodus to the covenant, body and blood of Christ. The new covenant made between God and all people, through the sacrificial life and death of Jesus Christ, is remembered and we are united, by faith and the work of the Holy Spirit. When we confess our sins, ask for forgiveness through Christ our Lord, and praise God during the Great Thanksgiving, we are praying to be united, as one people and one with Christ. Sharing and eating the bread and cup seal the proclamations that we have made. We recall Christ’s suffering death and sacrifice and recommit ourselves as his servants. Christ is with us and in us, if we are willing, and we are filled with the Holy Spirit. This strengthens us to do the work of disciple-making.

My call is to facilitate the deepening of the faith of individual Christians and their commitment to a sense of social holiness, especially where they live.  This acts to bridge congregations with their communities and strengthen their commitment to making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. As a deacon, I would assist an elder or licensed local pastor with the preparation and practice of the sacraments of Holy Communion and Baptism, welcoming those from within the congregation and those from the community, and helping to strengthen their understanding of the meaning and purpose of the sacraments.

The meanings of Holy Communion and Baptism are as deep and complex as their visible practice is simple.  When we practice Holy Communion, we eat a meal of grain and drink the fruit of the vine. With Baptism, we wet a brow or sprinkle a few drops of water. These are common, everyday practices made uncommon by their connection to the history and practices of the Hebrew people.  Working in community, I would expect to encounter people with all types of faith, from atheist to any form of theist.  Someone observing communion might understand it as simply eating and drinking bread and juice.  The symbolic meaning would vary, depending on their background and experiences.  In a similar manner, Baptism might be seen as a simple ritual by someone with little understanding of Christianity. Part of my role would be to help the ministry team to navigate interactions with the community and to educate people about the United Methodist understanding of baptism as representing repentance, cleansing and new birth and the Lord’s Supper as redemption and union as the body of Christ. (Book of Disciple ¶ 104 74).

The Question of Evil

 Evil is a very strong and powerful English word. When I use evil, I mean extremely, unimaginably bad. The Meriam-Webster dictionary defines it as morally reprehensible.  The Hebrew word translated to evil in, for example, the verse "And again the sons of Israel did evil in the sight of Yahweh." (Judges 3:12) is  hā·rā‘. (BibleHub interlinear) Strong's Concordance defines it as bad, evil.  The Greek word translated to evil in, for example, the verse "The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure."(Matt 12:35)  is πονηρός/poneros. (BibleHub interlinear) Strong's Concordance defines πονηρός as "evil, bad, wicked, malicious, slothful". I, personally, have never equated evil with slothful. In that same verse in Matthew, evil (πονηρός) is contrasted with good (ἀγαθός/agathos), defined by Strong as intrinsically good, good in nature, good whether it be seen to be so or not, the widest and most colorless of all words with this meaning". That is not a very satisfying translation, since it uses good to define good.  This is, perhaps, more illuminating: Agathós "describes what originates from God and is empowered by Him in their life, through faith". (HELPS Word Studies) So, in good versus evil ( or bad) we have "what originates from God" versus "what is morally reprehensible".

Assuming that God is good and just, as I do, and that, at the time of creation, creation was very good (Gen 1:31), and that humans have free will (Gen 3:6), we can infer that evil is a result of actions that deny and work against the will of God.  Things that people do to purposely oppose the will of God are evil.

God loves us and all of creation beyond all measuring. When I look at unspoiled creation, I see that, indeed, it is good.  Every trip to a beautiful new place has reinforced this impression, whether hiking the West Canada Lake trail in the Adirondack lowlands or Going to the Sun road in Glacier National Park. When my life was blessed with motherhood, my infant son raised my awareness and experience of hope, joy and suffering.  I had played with dolls as a child but manipulating a doll, into situations and positions determined by me, was nothing like interacting with and loving a new creature with free will.  The depth of love and compassion that I experienced brought to my mind the thought, “This is how God loves us.” 

If we begin with the assumptions that God is good, God is love, God loves us and we have free will, we find God in a position very similar to that of every loving parent, with the added benefit of divine wisdom. Parents love their children and the will of a parent for their child is for great good, just as the will of God for us, God’s adopted children, is great good. (Proverbs 3:1-12, 1 Timothy 2:3-4) However, we sometimes choose things that are not good. Sometimes we think that the choice is good, when it is not. Sometimes, we know that the choice is not good. Other times, there does not seem to be a good choice. I do not stop loving my children when they disappoint me. Neither does God stop loving God’s children when we disappoint God.  Every good parent knows the agony of watching a beloved child reject wisdom and fail, only to discover the truth of that wisdom at some later time.  There is joy on all sides when the fortuitous choice is freely made.

Evil happens when we are selfish and destructive, ignoring the will of God or when we are so spiritually distant that we do not recognize the will of God, doing things that cause lasting harm to any part of creation: other people, animals, nature. “For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil (κακοὶ) intentions come” (Mark 7:21a, NRSV) Kακοὶ is bad/evil in the broadest sense. (Strong) God, who loves all and is just, cannot will good for one part of creation at the expense of another. (John 12:32) When people choose good for themselves which harms others, that cannot align with the will of God.  If we experience evil at the hand of another, the apostle Paul urges us to follow the response of Jesus and the cross. If we respond to evil with good and try to live in harmony (Rom. 12:14-21), God will support us.  “The cross may reflect weakness, but it reflects power in weakness, the power of God who chooses the weak ‘to shame the strong’ (1 Cor. 1:27). (Bassler 332)

Unfortunately, all people are somewhat selfish and unable to turn completely away from evil without God’s help. Divine power is seen in our recognition of mistakes made and our efforts to correct them. Paul says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) It would be much easier for God to simply make us do what God wants instead of trying to convince us, but God does not want us to be mere puppets or dolls.  Divine power in the form of prevenient grace, touches our heart before we even recognize God and lures us away from our self-serving impulses and toward recognition of our place in the web of creation and actions that preserve and sustain. (John 6:34) God knows us and loves us. God has given us the gift of choosing.

            To choose, is to make a decision and pick one thing instead of another. It sounds straight forward. However, our choices today are shaped by generations of choices that have come before us. John Wesley urged us to consider scripture, tradition, reason and experience. Our understanding of scripture is based on years of hearing it preached and seeing it applied in peoples’ lives. Our traditions have morphed, evolved and bifurcated over centuries to become a collection of diverse yet related traditions. We each have our own individual gifts of reasoning, be they creative, analytical or perceptive. No two people have exactly the same experiences. Often we are not even aware that we are making a choice or, if we are, the complexity of the choice is unclear and each component of our choosing can, and often is, tainted by evil: historical, cultural, familial, and even imaginary evils. Choosing is not straightforward.

            This is, in my view, the way that the sin of Adam has been passed down to us. I do not consider the cause of that “original sin” to be a curse or an evil presence or spirit that lingers in our midst and has been toying with humans for all time – unless you want to call selfishness an evil spirit. Rather, as with Adam, each time we choose something that is contrary to the will of God, each time we choose wrongly, we are hurting those directly involved, ourselves and future generations. There are ripple effects – for good or for bad.

            Sometimes human choice that leads to evil is the choice of inaction. Consider situations where people are suffering due to an unforeseen or unavoidable natural disaster like a hurricane or earthquake. People will sometimes ask, “How could God allow this to happen?” or “Where was God in all this?”  The universe was created and operates according to a complex set of physical laws. The earth rotates around the sun, the moon around the earth and the earth rotates on its axis. The sun warms the land, oceans and atmosphere. The presence of the moon, the rotations, the pull of gravity and temperature gradients cause the motion of the oceans and the atmosphere. Hurricanes are a product of those natural forces.

If someone came to me asking, “Where was God?” when this or that natural or human-made disaster happened, I would first assure them that God is faithful, loving and always present. God was and is there and ready to offer spiritual protection and comfort in the midst of suffering. When people are suffering, rather than asking, “Where was God?”, we should be asking, “Where was the church? Why weren’t God’s people stepping in to offer food, shelter, clothing and comfort?” We are the hands and feet of God and, like Jesus, should offer assistance when people cry, “Lord, have mercy.” That is one of the ways that we love God and love our neighbor. 

            When someone asks, “Where was God?”, it sounds like the question of theodicy, but I would want to make sure. So, I would first say, “It sounds like you are asking this: If God is good, why do bad things happen to good people. Is that right?”  One of the ways that people deal with theodicy is through dualism. They blame the bad things on Satan so that they don’t have to blame God and God’s goodness isn’t threatened. The Bible doesn’t say that God will prevent all bad things from happening to us if we are faithful. The Bible says that God loves us, God is just and God has made a covenant with us. God will never abandon us.  

            I am reminded of the story of the man born blind. (Matthew 9:27–30; Mark 8:22–25; John 9:1–7) Jesus says: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.” Suffering happens. Sometimes it is through natural disasters like earthquakes, sometimes epidemics, sometimes birth defects. All of them provide opportunities for the people of God to do the work of God and show God’s glory. Rather than asking “Why did this happen?” ask “What can I do to help, to show God’s love, care and compassion?”  We may ask “Why did this happen?” in order to prevent suffering from happening again, but little is gained if we are asking “Why?” in order to lay blame. 

There are a lot of things that happen that we don’t understand. They can make us feel vulnerable, scared. We often ask “Why?” Sometimes, we understand afterwards, when we look back. But sometimes we never understand. The Bible tells us that what matters is: that we love and trust God; that we remember that God was here at the beginning of creation, God is good and God will always be with us. God’s love never fails. The other thing that matters is that, when something bad happens or on a regular day when regular things happen, we can show the love of God by the things that we do: by loving our neighbors, by doing as much good as we can.

One of my Basic truths

Life has been too busy and I have not made time for theological reading. 

Today, I must make time.

On the subject of God - Hartshorne ("The Divine Relativity" in Readings in Christian Theology) writes about God being perfect - the most perfect. The "self-surpassing surpasser" of all. My immediate reaction is that this sounds like male ego, not God. Self-surpassing surpassor? In competition with whom? 

Though I reject the term, I accept the concept. He writes that if we acknowledge that humans are imperfect and think that God is perfect (or, he says, transcendentally excellent), that may lead us to think that God did no good in creating the world. As solution, he proposes that the perfect-and-imperfect together as a whole is superior to the perfect alone, independent of the imperfect.

Hartshorne rejects the notion that God surveys all time, knows everything that will happen, and has set the best possible course. He believes that those who propose that idea are confusing reliability (faithfulness) with absolute constancy.  I agree. God does not have to know the future in order to spiritually move us toward the most perfect next step.  Think divine wisdom, rather than omniscience and predestination. 

I would add two things: 1. The imperfect informs the perfect. We, who do not have divine wisdom, can learn and grow by observing less than perfect actions and outcomes. 2. God loves variety. Creation is filled with variety and is perfect in its entirety. To say that God failed because there are imperfect elements within creation is to view creation microscopically rather than macroscopically. The larger, macroscopic view sees the intertwining complimentarity. Yes, this single flower may be crushed by the rushing waters after a rainstorm, but it is better for the water to go in this direction. Learn from it. Grow elsewhere, as the flowers do. 

Tillich (A History of Christian Thought, p 234) writes "Everyone has to be perfect and no one is able to be perfect." We do not have the ability, but we can have the intention.  "Luther turned religion and ethics around. We cannot fulfill the will of God without being united with him." This is supported by John Wesley's statements that we must do all the good we can, in all the ways we can, etc. and strive for perfection through the transformational sanctifying grace of God. I couldn't agree more.

God is great. God is good. God, as Holy Spirit, is working in the world.

A new chapter in life - Recognizing a Call

During an online social hour with friends last night, I mentioned that I need to do some theological work to prepare for an upcoming oral examination. My friend suggested that I blog. I have blogged in the past as you can see here. A lot has happened in the world and my life since my last entry in April 2013. A lot.

I started a new job in August 2013 and continue to work at the same place, but we were acquired by another company and there have been many changes. I'm still married to the same guy - a good match - and we live in the same log house on the same dirt road. Our children, who were in middle school, are now young adults. I was in my 50s and struggling with questions about my faith and have since entered my 60s and graduated from seminary. The world has seemingly become less stable and more dangerous, but it may just be that things that had been lurking in the shadows are now being exposed in the light.

If you're interested in questions about faith, you might find something of value here. I'm hoping for courteous, thoughtful, challenging discussions. You may notice that I bring science and healing into the conversation somewhat often. That's because of my training as a scientist and educator.

My call, as I understand it, is to awaken people to the beauty and balance of a life centered on loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself. If you're interested, you can find that in a Bible in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 22, verses 36 to 40.

That's all for today.

What Are You Spreading These Days?

There’s a lot of stuff going around lately - illnesses, I mean - around here, at least. My stomach has been bothering me since Monday morning when a friend sent me a text to warn us that her son, who had spent the weekend with us, had just thrown up all over the bathroom.

If only we spread good will and compassion as freely as we spread our germs. Imagine what the world would be like.

I’m the editor of my church’s newsletter. I was looking through the lectionary readings for the month of May this morning, working on ideas for the newsletter.  The lectionary is an organized approach to Biblical scripture that many churches use.  In it, scriptures are arranged in a three-year calendar that covers a good portion of the Bible. The lectionary scripture readings for the next three weeks, which will be used in many Christian churches, are from three different books: Acts, Psalms, Revelation and John (with a few others thrown in). Acts tells the story leading up to the birth of the church, which is called Pentecost. At Pentecost, the disciples were filled with the spirit of God (the Holy Spirit) and they were able to speak and be understood in all languages. The Psalms for this period proclaim the wonders of God. Revelation speaks of God’s kingdom coming to Earth. John says that Jesus came to teach us. Jesus is of God and he came so that we can all be one; Jesus in God and God in us. So now, we can all be one with God.  Running through this group of passages, I see a theme of God teaching us, though Jesus, how to fill ourselves and the world with the wonder and beauty of the great spirit of God. 

When I dropped my son off at baseball practice tonight, he looked a round and asked, “Why don’t we drive a big car?” I said, “Because big cars use more gas and that’s bad for the Earth.” He said, “Everything people do is bad for the Earth. The Earth would be fine if there were no people.” I nodded my head in agreement. 

But it isn’t supposed to be that way. We are supposed to cherish the Earth and all that is in it. We are supposed to cherish the blue sky, the grass, birds and animals and each other. If only we could learn to spread compassion, wonder and awe as easily as we spread germs, hate and jealousy. If only we could spread faith, hope and love.

The Church of My Choosing

Dissatisfaction, for me, breeds imagining. I imagine the source and the solution. This is often a frustrating endeavor, as I have no means to turn my imaginings into reality. However, sometimes my imaginings become real, independent of my actions, and that is very satisfying. The appearance of my once imagined object or situation gives me the impression that I was right all along!

Lately, I have been imagining how church should be. I was trying to write a fictional story in which a crisis led to the formation of a new community which, in turn, generated a new church - quite different from the old.  It seems that I am too impatient and selfish to work through the details of the story, for I have abandoned it.

Instead, I wish to simply describe that idealistic church here.

First, in my imaginings, the church would arise from a real and acute need within a community, a need to interact more intimately and share more openly. This would then lead people to respond with help. It seems that the situation would lead to resentment only if the need were not universally felt and the help was not universally (within the community) shared.

Of course, this is my philosophy and sounds right to my ears, because it reflects my own personal reactions. I have observed that I am quite willing to help another if I know that they have helped me in the past. I also am much more willing to ask for help from someone that I have previously helped. This acknowledgement of mutual dependence relieves me of guilt and obligation.  I don't feel guilty, because they have helped me in the past or I anticipate their help in the future. I don't feel the weight of obligation to help them, because I have already done so or can easily see future opportunities to help them in the near future.

So, we have a group of people, a small enough group that they know one another's names, places of residence and situation. They come together to offer mutual aid. When they experience help and gratitude, they want to celebrate. They are spending time together and must eat, so they decide to eat together as a way of celebrating and enjoying their new-found success.  They break bread and sip wine and give thanks.  Their hearts swell with joy to the point of wishing to sing, and so they do.

During this gathering, they do not over-eat to terrible excess, although a few may pat their bellies and feel quite full. They do not drink with abandon, because they are responsible and know the consequences.  Their singing is not meant to impress or out-do, but to experience and express their joy.  They are enjoying themselves.

When they have had their fill, they clean up, express their hope that all will be well and their desire to gather again.  They say their goodbyes. 

During the ensuing days, if one of them has a difficulty or success, they communicate it to others in the group.  They give aid and receive congratulations and aid, where appropriate.  They make plans to gather again, decide it is a good thing and plan to meet on a regular basis for fellowship, to keep their relationships strong and to enjoy spending time together.  They support one another. They care for one another.  If someone is doing something that they think is wrong or ill-advised, they speak to that person, because they are concerned for their well-being.  They are friends.

If asked, by someone outside the community, how they decide what is right and what is wrong, they refer to a collection of books that were written a very long time ago.  They say that many things in the books are old fashioned and reflect the views of an ancient society, but like all good stories and poems, they contain timeless nuggets of truth.  These timeless nuggets help the community to sort out how to live.

This is my vision of church.

If You Give a Person a God

If you give a person a god, they will try to understand it in terms that they know.
They will imagine that it looks like a grandfather, because it is supposed to have been around for a long time. It is supposed to be wise.

If you say it is all-powerful, they will ask it for things.
If you say it will make all things new, they will beg it to come back soon.

If you say it was born of a virgin and made people all better, they will think it is wonderful. 
They will want to hear the story again and again.

When they get a little older you will tell them that there are no monsters, no magic, no Santa Claus. 
They will start to think that the stories about god sound a lot more like fiction than fact.

They will read hero stories and rejoice that good triumphs over evil.
Then, they will look at the world and wish it were true.

They will wonder what to do about all of the confusion.
They will want to re-invent god, so they can believe the stories again.

World Religion 101

I have been doing lots of "religious reading", lately, meaning over the past six months or so.  It started as a search for devotional meat - something I could chew on - which I wasn't getting at church on Sundays.  First, I listened to Thomas Sheehan's "Historical Jesus" lectures through iTunesU.  Then, I read his book and several books he listed in the required reading for the course.  While searching for a book by Marcus Borg at the library, I saw "Religious Literacy" by Stephen Prothero on the shelf.  It's that particular book that prompted me to post here, because I want to take note of something and this seemed like a good place to keep the notes.

My musings about religion have led me to wonder about common religious themes, archetypes, core ideas.  Prothero's book traces the historical development of American religious illiteracy and then ends with a dictionary of information he considers essential for public discourse and understanding.  This begins with "Religion by the Numbers", which I hope to summarize here, for later consideration. 

4 Gospels.  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John narrate the life of Jesus (the Christ or Messiah), who lived around 2 BC - 33 AD.  Gospel means good news.  Each book emphasizes a different aspect of Jesus' life or teaching (and is thought to have been directed toward a different audience).  Matthew - how Jesus fulfilled Old Testament prophecies; Mark - the secret that he was the Messiah; Luke - his concern for the poor and women; John - his divinity.  Other noncanonical (considered unofficial) gospels have been re-discovered.  They tell the story differently and have raised a stir.

4 Noble Truths. Core truths of Buddhism, delivered by the Buddha in Sarnath (northern India)  around 560 - 480 BC are Existence of Suffering - human life is characterized by dukkha (suffering, unsatisfactoriness); Origin of Suffering - suffering is caused by clinging, which is caused by ignorance of the impermanence of things; Cessation of Suffering - the chain of suffering can be reversed producing nirvana; Path to the Cessation of Suffering - outlines the way to nirvana.

5Ks.  Symbols that identify male members of the Khalsa, a Sikh order. kes - uncut hair; kangha - comb; kirpan - ceremonial sword; kara - steel wrist bangle; kachh - short pants.  They were instituted in India in 1699 by Guru Gobind Singh to distinguish Sikhs from Hindus and Muslims.

5 Pillars of Islam. Key practices of Islam. Shahadah - witnessing that there is no god but God and Muhammad is the messenger of God; Salat - prayer in the direction of Mecca at dawn, noon afternoon, sunset and evening; Sawm - daytime fasting during Ramadan (lunar month, which migrates through the solar year, and is currently in July); Zakat - giving alms to the poor; Hajj - pilgrimage to Mecca.

7 Sacraments. A religious rite or ceremony that conveys God's gift of salvation to participants.  Baptism (water), Holy Communion (bread and wine), Confirmation (affirmation of Christian belief by someone who was baptized), Reconciliation (Confession followed by Forgiveness), Marriage, Ordination of Priests, Anointing of the Sick (oil).  Catholics recognize all seven, Protestants classically recognize the first two. Quakers reject all.

7 Deadly Sins. Listed by Pope Gregory the Great (540-604 AD).  Pride, envy, greed, anger, sloth, lust, gluttony.

8-Fold Path of Buddhism. Charts the course from suffering to nirvana. Wisdom (right view and intention), Morality (right speech, conduct and livelihood), Concentration (right effort, mindfulness and concentration). 

10 Commandments.  Religious and moral laws given to Moses on Mount Sinai on two stone tablets.  They are found in Exodus and Deuteronomy (Jewish Torah/Pentateuch, Old Testament Bible) and throughout the Quran (religious text of Islam).  I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods besides me. Do not swear falsely by my name. Keep the Sabbath day holy. Honor your father and mother. Do not murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not bear false witness. Do not covet your neighbor's wife or property.

Well, I have no trouble with any of them.  They all seem wise in their intent.   I can also think of instances when people have twisted them. 

And now, in order to avoid sloth, I must get on with my day.  May your reading of this post bless you and keep you.

Happy New Year.

Body, Mind, and Spirit - my own personal trinity

When I started this blog, the stated purpose was to post about maintaining balance in my life and my attempts to use all of my gifts.  I was, at that time, missing teaching, missing science and worried about forgetting the many things I had learned during my 25 years in the field (if you count back to my first job after college).  I left the field of science gradually, with stops and starts, because I was not willing to work full time - which would mean 60-70 hours per week as either an assistant professor or research associate.  Although I loved the work, I wanted to have time for other pursuits: raising children, keeping in shape, reading and church.

As I pondered my dilemma and my inability to find a satisfying part-time position, I decided to write.  Writing, I thought, would help to satisfy my mind, which is very demanding and hates the mundane.  My writing took the form of a novel, which is still in progress. This created a new dilemma. If I’m working on writing a book, what should I write about in my blog? If I write about the book or post excerpts: I would be posting first or second drafts that are still in development and no one would have to or want to buy the completed book.  

Fortunately, my brain has been working on this problem and has realized that I should go back to the original stated purpose of the blog, which continues to be a subject of thought, contemplation, and internal discussion for me.

Maintaining balance in my life translates into balancing three main aspects of my life.  You might disagree, but I think that everyone should strive for balance in these three areas: body, mind and spirit.  So, that is what I will be writing about, beginning with the last.

Today is Ash Wednesday, a day of repentance for Christians. It is the first day of the season of Lent, which lasts 40 days (not counting Sundays) and is marked as a time of preparation, a time of greater prayer and self-discipline, a time to draw closer to God in anticipation of the recollection of Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection.  Lent, although more somber, is similar to Advent, which precedes Christmas.

My spirit told me to return, in this blog, to the subject of balance in terms of body, mind and spirit. The idea popped into my head as I was driving.  The words flowed so easily and clearly, but now I struggle to find them.  That is because my mind is trying to do the work now and it has a tendency to push my spirit away. The idea came in response to thoughts about a news story I heard on the radio. I was contemplating the biological differences between men and women and how they affect our paths in life. However, the specifics of those ideas will be saved for a post about the body. I mention them here only to illustrate the working of the spirit.

The spirit, or soul, requires freedom from the things of man, human things. When we are solving problems or doing physical work, our minds and bodies take center stage. They crowd out the spirit and can leave us exhausted.  In the Christian church, there is a connection between water and the spirit, song and the spirit and I find that connection holds when I am going about my day-to-day activities. Great ideas and wonderful thoughts flow freely through my mind when I am washing dishes or taking a shower. My spirit soars when I hear or sing beautiful music. I feel the tingling I associate with the spirit when I am in the natural world: at the beach; in the woods; holding a baby; making love to my husband. My soul rejoices in these things and fills me.  Things made by humans, like cities, and jobs created by our human luxuries, like vacuuming and straightening the basement, crush my spirit and stifle my soul.

When my soul is nurtured by God’s creation, prayer and the wisdom of God’s word, it penetrates my mind and body and I become more aware of things my spirit tries to tell me.   Some call it intuition, others consider it paranormal, I hope and pray that it is a connection to a higher power that loves me, knows me (and you) completely and, because of that vast knowledge, sees a path through life that will bring me greater fulfillment of purpose than the other paths I might choose.  This higher power, God, wants to help me to find my path and slowly, surely keeps nudging me in that direction.  It doesn’t sound scientific and my mind doesn’t like it, but I feel it in my heart and soul. 

Things We Can't See

One of the things I have been trying to figure out, with my writing, is how to present my world view.  I want the characters in my book to demonstrate, by their actions, the things I have learned and want to teach.  It is difficult, because my world view is not completely gelled. I am very analytical by nature and tend to look for logic in all things, becoming frustrated when others refuse to behave in a logical manner.  I've learned, through my children, that in order to analyze the logic of someone's behavior, you must first understand what motivates them. You must understand, for example, that a child's desire to please their friends outweighs their desire to please their mother.  You must understand that they are willing to get into a fight with their mother and risk punishment (which seems very illogical) in order to avoid being embarrassed in front of their friends (by doing something like wearing boots when there is a lot of snow on the ground, because boots are not cool and sneakers - even when wet - are the thing to wear).  I am also frustrated when my own impulses seem illogical. 

I was raised as a Christian and trained as a scientist. Christianity, with its reliance on faith in things unseen, does not easily occupy the same space as my scientific mind and logical approach.  So, I look at motives to find a plausible explanation. The scientist says that religion is an organization created to control the primitive, superstitious populace of old.  As a scientist, it has no place in this modern world.  We don't need Zeus to explain away our fear of thunder and lightening. 

I would accept this explanation were it not for experiences of my own that remain mysterious and cannot be easily explained away.  Why is it that I often get a feeling that I should call someone close to me only to have the phone ring and find that same person is calling me?  I can't explain it.  Why is it that I have a feeling I should move a glass or plate, forget to move it and then find that it was knocked over and broken by me, the cat or someone else?  Why is it that my gut often knows that a situation is bad long before my head has figured it out?

The scientist says that my subconscious mind figures things out before my conscious mind knows about them. I'm not so sure. I know it's not logical, but I think there's more to it than that.  When one door closes, another one opens. I have seen it happen. I have felt myself nudged to do things that I don't understand until many weeks or months later, when the decision is revealed as something very good.  So, as I write, I try to listen. I try to allow myself to be guided.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.   1 Corinthians 13:12

Sermon

October 16, 2011 is Laity Sunday. I volunteered to preach.

Matthew 22:15-22is the gospel lesson for that day.  Here's the summary:

Three players:

Pharisees - religious group, oppose Roman rule, strict followers of the Jewish laws

Herodians - political group that supports Herod Antipas, the local Roman ruler under the Roman Emperor Caesar.

             - - -  usually enemies, but united against Jesus. 

Pharisees sent their students along with Herodians to test and trap Jesus.  First, they flatter him.  Then, they ask Jesus, "Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar?"

Why is this a trap?   It's a YES/NO question.

If Jesus said "YES, it’s lawful," the common people would reject him, because they hated paying taxes.  The Pharisees would say that paying Rome meant recognizing Roman authority and rejecting God’s authority.

If Jesus said "NO, it’s not lawful," the Herodians would take him to be arrested for treason.

He outsmarted them both saying, "Render to Caesar that which is Caesar’s and to God that which is God’s."  He makes them both look foolish by exposing their crooked intentions.

Lessons for us:

1. People in power, like the Pharisees and Herodians, often rise to power as a result of hard work, talent and vision. They start out trying to do good things (like providing interpretation of God’s law or governmental stability to a region), but after a while they start to care more about their own position of power than the original ideals that got them there.

2. Why did Jesus say we should render to Caesar that which is Caesar’s? Does he give authority to Caesar? Was he simply trying to save his own skin?  He is eventually arrested, so maybe he's just stalling for time. I think he is teaching a bigger lesson.  By asking to see the coin, he seems to be limiting Caesar’s authority to the coin and payment of tax. Government does not rule our life or our heart. Money and taxes are of the earth and taxes go to the government. What do we give to God?

3. We live in a complex society under the rule of law and the church, just as Jesus, the disciples and new Christians did. We are subject to the laws of Pennsylvania and the United States of America. As Christians, we are also subject to God’s law.

It is tempting to avoid this tension between flesh and spirit, Earth and Heaven, the Secular and Christian world. We could choose one or the other, to avoid the tension. Guilt and fear of God’s wrath can make us push God away, rejecting his rules and living for today, choosing Earth over Heaven. Taking our free will and rejecting authority, relying on ourselves, our logic and cunning.

The opposite choice is complete rejection of the secular world, choosing Heaven over Earth through isolation, closed communities, avoiding the world of sin. We might be tempted to remove ourselves from society, to avoid people we fear might tempt us into sinful behavior, to cloister ourselves. We could spend our days at home in prayer, visiting only those Christians we judge pure enough and shunning all others.

Are we able to identify sinless Christians?  Can we judge, at least, who is less sinful than we are? Even if we could, if we separate ourselves from the world, who will save the world?  If we surround ourselves with people of great faith and discipline at the exclusion of all others, how will we do God’s work? 

We must be like the Thessalonians (1 Thessalonians 1-10). We must resist the temptations of a corrupt society and our own sinful nature.  We are called to live by our faith, perform works of faith, labors of love and to be patient, hanging on through hope and the power of the Holy Spirit.  In the world, not of it.

Chapter 5 - Hurray!

I've been writing a book. I was doing very well, for a beginner, back in May, but then summer vacation started and I stopped writing. I find it very difficult to think when the kids are home. I'm too busy cooking, cleaning the kitchen and arguing!

School started up again last month and I started taking an adult writing workshop to get the engines revving. They aren't revving as loudly as they were in May, but I think I'm getting there. I've developed the plot a bit further, made a few advances toward some real action, given a bit of foreshadowing and written another 3000 words. It's all at about the second draft stage. There aren't any terrible typos or misspellings, but the writing is loose (which is not great). I'll have to tighten it a lot and work on removing weak adjectives. I find it very difficult to remember all of the little details that are in there. A lot of them are probably irrelevant, but I still have to keep them consistent.

I'd really love to post it all here, but then who would buy the book?!  So, instead, I'll tell you that I'm making progress and that's all!

Caution - Danger ahead

I have always been a critical reader. I used to love to read, but now it's becoming a challenge to enjoy reading. The difficulty developed as my analytical training as a scientist increased, and has risen to astounding heights now that I am attempting to write. I analyze ad nauseum.  Well, I suppose it will be helpful in the long run.

I started a new book recommended by an online reading group that I joined last week. I began reading about fifteen minutes ago and have already exhausted myself with the ping pong match going on in my head.

"Oh, this writing sounds forced."

"Yes, it sounds a lot like the first chapter of your book."

"This doesn't flow easily like HARRY POTTER."

"I'm starting to wish I'd never read those blasted books. They read so effortlessly. I'll never write like that."

"Quit whining and just let the words erupt from you.  Stop trying to control what comes out. That's your problem. You're such a control freak."

FREAK   FREAK    FREAK

Thanks, Petunia, I needed that.

Strange Behavior

Jimmy, our neighbor, called yesterday and asked if we’d like him to cut our five-acre field. I said sure. He’d done it for us over the years.  My husband was sleeping after a 24-hour shift at the hospital, but had earplugs in and wouldn’t be bothered by the noise of the tractor and brush hog.  He came up around 2 pm and started cutting. When I went out at 3:50 to drive down to the bus stop for the kids, I let the dogs out. Jimmy was just finishing up.

We were back within ten minutes and Jimmy was gone. The kids went right to work on their homework and I was getting dinner together. We had to eat early, because my son had soccer practice. The dogs started barking, so I looked out the window. I could see something that looked like a dog out at the far end of the fresh-cut field. I decided it was a coyote and called the kids over to see him.  I went up to tell my husband to look outside, but he was fast asleep and didn’t move, even when I gently touched his arm. He looked so exhausted that I left him and went back downstairs. The dogs kept barking, but were staying within the bounds of the invisible fence.  I grabbed the camera and took a few pictures from the porch. They weren’t very good, because I was too far away, but I wanted to be able to show my husband.  It looked like the coyote was hunting. I remembered a study I’d read about recently that had showed that wolves mostly ate rodents. There were lots of mice and moles in that field.  I’d never seen a coyote before and thought it was really cool.  I snapped three pictures and hurried back to the kitchen to turn the potato and zucchini pancakes.

My son finished his homework first and was annoyed at the dogs, so he went out to call them.  They were still barking and carrying on.  He yelled for me, because out terrier had gone past the invisible fence and was approaching the coyote. I ran out and told my son to stay put on the porch. As I ran toward them, calling the terrier, our beagle mutt followed me. I changed my mind, realizing I would have a hard time handling both dogs, and called the boy to help me.

“Grab Buddy and take him back to the house,” I shouted. He ran hard across the field and grabbed him by the collar. Buddy tried to get free, but my son yanked and pulled and smacked him once. I looked back and saw the beagle on his back being submissive.

I turned to get the terrier, Beau, and he and the coyote were disappearing toward the road. Oh no, I thought. I ran toward them, calling Beau, worried he’d take off or get in a fight. He quickly came around the corner, panting. “Good boy,” I said and called him to me. We went back to the house. With the dogs safely inside, we returned to homework and dinner. I was still checking my daughter’s homework while we ate. She had had work to do in every subject.

We finished eating and I told my son to hurry.  “Daddy can check the rest of your work,” I told our girl.  “Tell him about the coyote when he wakes up.” I said as I was opening the door to go out.  

“Why?” she asked from the kitchen.

“So he can look outside and see him.” I replied.

“He’s gone,” she said.

“But he might come back to feed some more,” I said.

“Whatever,” she mumbled.

We were at soccer practice until it got dark at 7:30 and got back home around 8:10. As we walked in, my daughter came to the door. “Dad shot the coyote,” she said.

“What? Why would he do that?” I asked.

“Yeah, right,” my son said.

“He said it was acting funny,” she replied.

We walked upstairs and I looked at my husband in disbelief. My eyes were filling with tears. “Did you shoot it?” I asked.

“I thought you wanted me to. It was acting really strange. It kept hanging around. I thought you’d be relieved,” he said, walking toward me, reaching out.

“It was hunting,” I said, my voice rising as I pushed him away. I looked around for my daughter.
“Didn’t you tell him?” I asked her.

“Tell him what?” she asked.

“That it was hunting! The field had just been mowed and it was hunting mice! That’s why it was hanging around!! I took pictures of it,” I said as I looked for the camera.

“I didn’t know,” my husband and daughter both replied.

Holding the camera, I looked for the adapter to plug into the computer and download the pictures, but couldn’t find it. I wanted to show him that it had been harmless, just hunting mice, as if proving it was harmless would change the outcome.  I slammed the door on the computer desk in anger and frustration and stormed down the stairs and out the door.  Outside, I cried and groaned and gasped for air, wanting to turn back time and wake my husband up at 5:00 to tell him about the cool coyote feeding in the field.

How could this have happened? How could she have let him kill it? Was she so oblivious that she had missed the whole thing or was she so fearful that she had decided it was dangerous in spite of my excitement at watching it?  I cried in anguish over the senseless killing, standing at the edge of the field where I had last seen the coyote.

After a short while, I heard my husband calling me.  “Honey, where are you?’ he called.

“I’m over here,” I called back, trying to calm down. I turned and walked slowly toward him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his head hanging down.  My mind swam with thoughts of him talking about the guys killing coyotes at the hunting camp, because they preyed on the deer.  They just liked to kill. But, we only kill what we eat. He always said that. We only kill what we eat.  He wasn’t like the other guys. 

“I never meant to upset you. I thought you would be really happy. I was trying to protect us and the dogs and cat.”

“It’s her,” I said. “It’s the way she talked about it. She made you think I was worried, but I wasn’t.”

“It’s not her fault. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know that the field had just been cut while I was sleeping. I thought maybe it was cut yesterday while I was working and I hadn’t noticed.  I didn’t think about it.  It’s not her fault.” He reached out and drew me into his arms. “You thought you were going to wake up tomorrow morning and get to watch it hunt again,” he said.

“Yeah, I did.”  We hugged each other and felt the confusion of misunderstanding and the sadness of death all around us. We slowly walked back to the house.  It was very dark and quiet.

I went upstairs. The lights were all off. I went into each of the kids’ rooms and kissed them good night, trying not to blame my daughter. Maybe she had missed the whole thing. She had been busy with her homework.  Maybe it was an innocent mistake.

My husband made us each a drink and we sat down in our usual spots. I felt numb. His eyes were red rimmed and tired.  We talked about what had happened and tried to make sense of it. Then, out of words, we picked up books and newspapers, trying to resume our normal routine of reading before bed.  Still hurting, we went to bed early. 

I dreamed that the kids and I were walking to the mini-van, our old mini-van that we got rid of last year. My son asked if he could drive. He was around ten, like now. I said, “Yes, but just a little,” and got in the back. He went to the driver’s seat and did something I couldn’t see. He put something in the back trunk area.  His sister got in the front passenger seat.

The van started moving. It was swerving a bit. After a few minutes, I said “Stop, that’s enough.” He didn’t stop or answer and I started shouting.  Somehow, I got out of the van and ran around to the driver’s side. I was very upset and kept shouting, “Stop”.  My son and daughter had pushed their seat-backs all the way back and were lying flat, completely reclined, all strapped in. The steering wheel was gone. That was what my son had put in the trunk area. He said that it was in his way. As I was seeing all of this and trying to stop the van, a lady drove by and said, “Watch out! There’s a police car right behind you.”

I reached in and pulled the emergency brake.  The police car stopped behind us and an officer got out. I was yelling at my son to get unbuckled and get out so we wouldn’t get in trouble. The officer went over to my daughter on the other side and started talking to her as if she were the mother. He talked funny and seemed really slow and confused about what he was supposed to do. The kids got out of the mini-van and a crowd was gathering around us. The officer kept saying, “Well, I don’t know. Let me see. I just don’t know.” I was very worried, but he never paid attention to me. He kept saying it to my daughter. After a while, we just walked away. I put the steering wheel back where it went and got in to drive. That’s when I woke up and remembered the night before. I still felt numb, so numb and sad.